So, here I am watching my mother, sister, and myself take care of little G and I’m noticing that we are all exceedingly exhausted. Each of us is moaning and groaning. Three grown women! All with kid
experience! My boy is surprisingly well behaved for a two year old, and we still all run out of steam before he does. This makes me realize that what I do on a day to day basis, has three grown women absolutely drained. No wonder I feel like I can’t get anything done. Like I could cry or fall asleep at any moment. Like I am trying to hold on to a bar of soap or a rabbit…or something else that’s really hard to hold on to!
I can’t tell you how many times a day I say to myself “I don’t know if I can do this anymore”. But I have to. What are my options? And now, on top of raising a toddler on my own, dealing with C-PTSD, severe depression, having to interact with my narcissistic abuser on a daily basis…now, I get to go to work and try to support the two of us in a county that is so expensive I can’t believe I used to make it on my own.
The more I read about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the more I realize what I escaped. It also makes me feel like I should get on a soap box or mountain top and tell the world all about this evil and horrendous disorder. But, how do you do that? How do you, as one person, start a tidal wave of information and make sure you don’t come off like the crazy lady your narcissist has been portraying you to be? I don’t know yet…but I’m sure the hell going to figure it out!
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